Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Randomize
