It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize