no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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