We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
