We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
