People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
