i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
