Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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