Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize