I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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