do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
