don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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