Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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