Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
