On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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