literally had 100 drinks last night.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
