You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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