I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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