So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
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Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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