hotel room ftw
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
