so that wasnt chicken after all
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
