I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
