Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
