Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
