There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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