Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
