Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
