i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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