At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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