just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
