So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
