Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
