Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My cat gives me a boner
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
