what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
