Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize