Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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