Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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