so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
