ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
