ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
