On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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