god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize