Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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