The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
is it fun? or sober?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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