They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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