we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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