I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
