God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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