I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
