i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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