he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
