Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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