I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
