I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
