the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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