Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
