My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
