Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize