just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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