question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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