Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
