I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
