I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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