I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
