True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
