I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize