Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
