That's when you crack a 10am beer
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
