summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
