I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
