I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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