Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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