Sponge bath it is.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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